Ha Ha Ha . . . . get it?

is it big phat-ass guitar? like, 'hey, that guitar is such a fat-ass!'

or is it, big phat, ass-guitar? like, ' that ass-guitar you are playing is big and phat!'

hell yeah.

Can I Get A Hell Yea!!

Who wants to go halfsies on one of these bad boys. I wonder if it is Sabbath friendly?

Don't Mess With Sweden

Swedish foreign policy is based on the premise that national security is best served by staying free of alliances in peacetime in order to remain neutral in the event of war. In 2002, Sweden revised its security doctrine. The security doctrine still states that "Sweden pursues a policy of non-participation in military alliances," but permits cooperation in response to threats against peace and security.

Sweden has, like most other countries, three branches of the guitarmed forces:
• CittrArmén – The GuitArmy
• Marinen – The Marine
• CittraFlygvapnet – The GuitAir Force


An unofficial 4th branch would be the Cittralicopter Forces.
"Marinen" (The Marine) is a jointly term for the Cittravy and the CittrAmphibious Corps in Sweden.




At the head of the Swedish Guitarmed forces is Löjtnant Yngwie Malmsteen.

In order to maintain peace and “shred” any opponents Löjtnant Malmsteen maintains a clean and powerful guitarsenal.

Listed below are the preffered W.M.G.'s (Weapons of Mass Guitstruction) in the Sweedish Guitarmory.








1. deFender Battle Axe.

Specialty: Face Melting Solos.

Strings: 6

Special Features: Whammy Bar











2. Double Barrel

Specialty: Versatility and Stairway To Heaven Like Its Ment To Be Played

Strings: 6 or 12. 18 for the trained Soldier

Special Features: It's Just Like Having Two Guitars Fool.












3. RickenBazookar

Specialty: Break out the Heavy Guitartillary.

Strings: 4

Special Features: Strap

4. Drums

Specialty: Drum Solos

Strings: 0 Kick Drums: 2

Special Features: China Cymbal

Guitammunition:

A Pictoral Guide

These images were obtained through the use of Google's image search engine.


Search for: Guitarmy

Yield:

ok, this could hardly be considered a GUITARMY. This measely rag-tag bunch of rat puke is no more than a helpless platoon, or, at best, light infantry.

Search for: GuitAirForce

Yield:

ok ladies, now we're getting somewhere. yes, that is Guitargeant Vai of the 101st Jem Division. You are correct in your assertion that he is not armed with his standard issue black seven string. Were he not such a decorated soldier, he could face Chord Marshal for being without his trusty, mother-of-pearl, vine-laden, handle carved, fireaxe.

What?!?!?

I'm not sure I heard you correctly??!

Who is that hoodlum standing next to Guitargeant Vai?!?!?!?!?

Drop and give me twenty you maggot!!!!!

For the rest of you GIRLS who arent aware, that is Commander in Chief of the Guitarmed forces, General Satriani!!!

Guitarmy

The Guitarmy is the original arsenal of guitars which were immortalized in some newspaper interview referring to Scott's "army of guitars." That language was not nearly efficient enough for us. Since the word guitar just happens to share two letters with the word army, we felt that "Guitarmy" was a much better way to describe the vast numbers of guitars waiting in a tense state of constant readiness to serve, protect, and defend - yes even with their very lives - their commander in chief.

Those were innocent times. Since then, Scott and George's disease has exploded to obscene levels of gear acquisition. It recently became all too clear to us that a Guitarmy alone was not enough to defend the beloved homeland. The logic is simple -- if there can be an army of guitars, then why not a navy or an air force? Well let me tell you something: there is a navy and an air force of guitars, or better put, a Guitavy and a Guitair Force. This obviously left our minds travailing at a feverish rate to somehow come up with a textual mashup of the words guitar and marines. Let me tell you something else: all possibilities for creating such an awesome word have been thoroughly exhausted, and all of them fail to satisfactorily evoke the right blend of 6-string-shredding and elite military forces. Not willing to sacrifice our high standards of retarded humor, we decided to stick with just regular marines instead of some forced guitar/marines hybrid. Someone's got to be there to play all the guitars.

GUITARMY, GUITAVY, GUITAIR FORCE, MARINES!!!

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